February 22, 2008
Tell, me, who pressed the Pause Button?
On my life. As I've been thinking about things, I realize I sorta feel like a giant pause button has been pushed (I am thinking about a way to show this graphically---I went looking for pause button images on Google---I just don't like any of them, and think taking a picture of my finger nearing the pause button or a picture of the box that comes up in the corner of the tv when you press pause during what ever you are watching just seems silly to me right now). On so many things. Our living situation, my health, my candle biz (oh, big big big pause button there :-S), just way too many things in my life. Those are just the big ones. And I'm at a loss---am I the one who has to press play again, and DO something to get things going---what I have been doing (which in a lot of cases is next to nothing---like with the candle biz) is definitely not enough. I know part of why I don't do anything is because I'm afraid. But with at least 2 of the things---this stupid stupid house and having to wait on even stupider people to do the things they SHOULD do, and of course my health because 2 weeks out of my month where I have no idea where my brain is, is getting a little old---I'm getting so dang peeved off! I want a new place---I just don't know how we're going to go about getting it. I mean, because we live in a college town most of the houses/apartments that come up in the paper for rent (3 bedroom, at least 1 bath) are for COLLEGE KIDS. I swear, if I ever get the money to do it, I'm going to come up with a complex JUST FOR FAMILIES. I mean, there are MULTITUDES of housing choices for college students---which is great and I completely understand both the need and convenience of coming up with such places, but it's incredibly irritating for those of us FAMILIES who are looking for 3 bedroom homes! I've had no less than 2 calls to an apartment and a house owner who told me right away that the apartment is for COLLEGE KIDS. UGH! It won't be any different when we move out to Colorado, but at least the beginning we'll have a place to stay (not that it's really big enough for the 4 of us---I'm going to have to consolidate a LOT no matter when we move!). I'm very dissatisfied with whatever else I do find in the paper for our area---there's a nice little "cluster" of homes that are all way out of our price range, even though the size (3 bedrooms) is right. There's always something wrong with a place. I'm contemplating looking into buying a house (in fact, my best guy friend's parents' house is for sale...it would be just inside of our budget too) more and more with each place I call about, and with each passing day. The only problem then would be getting approved for a loan. I'm not totally sure we can qualify for any first time home owners things, or even any grants. Though I suppose looking further into Grants.gov isn't a bad idea.