June 19, 2007

My World...

Things have been going, that's the least I can say. Things have felt off since after my birthday. Some of the reason, I couldn't quite put my finger on. Some of it was getting Aunt Flo back (finally, after 3 years of having NOTHING, and 2 years to the day after having my son :-D), and all the hormones that come with that. Some of it could be from not getting enough sleep. I've got something for the candle biz I want to get done, then I will be off to bed tonight. But I've been doing better about getting my butt to bed, and things must be getting better otherwise because I'm starting to pull this house back into some order. Part of that you can see in my living room, because I moved the couch around a bit. My son had been getting on the back of it to look out this big picture window we have in the living room, but I don't like the idea of that (for a variety of reasons, all which are easy to guess at), so I wanted to move it. You can also see it in my kitchen because I am starting to do better with the dishes and reclaiming it from the fruit flies (yeah, I know, ewwwww!!!). I put the 6 quarts of strawberries we picked today in the fridge---hopefully that will help keep them away some!!!!! At least from the strawberries. I'd like to freeze some too, but I don't think that's quite what my husband had in mind when we picked them. It sure was FUN to do!!!! My little guy walked over a few plants, but what can you do considering he's only 2 and doesn't really know better. He only did it a couple times, and I really don't think he hit any berries because the shoes don't look very red at all (they're white on blue, and you'd see on the white, so...). But they are ALWAYS fun to pick!!! :-) Getting those nice big ripe berries, tasting them when you get home (or, heck, yeah, while you're picking them!!!), spending time together as a family doing something we all enjoy...all in all a good day :-D

Of course, today did have it's sad edge to it. One of my husband's coworkers died over the weekend. He was 2 years younger than my dad (yeah, a lot of my husband's coworkers are my parents age, is that really such a surprise?), and he died of a heart attack. Just about 5 minutes after walking in the door after work. Besides which, his wife has incurable cancer, and he was doing a whole lot for her. They have a daughter, who helps out some too, so it's not as if she's all alone. But I know she must be hurting---I can only imagine how I would feel if I lost T. He and the kids are my world. They are the meaning behind it all, and the fun at the end :-) My life would not be complete without them, and I'm so happy I've got them. :-D It wasn't totally sad. A handful of my husband's coworkers, plus at least one other union person, was there at the funeral home. I got to listen to a few stories, watch T amongst people he's not usually around me with (IYKWIM), and met the man's wife. I can only imagine what she's going through, and my heart totally goes out to her! One day, unfortunately, it will be me. That's what happens---death is a natural part of life. No matter how it happens.

And dinner today was good. Grilled Chicken and Pineapple Kabobs. :-D Grilled pineapple is GOOD, espeically if you burn it just a tiny bit. Then the sugars crystalize a bit (I think that's what you'd call it), and it crunches a bit :-) We are DEFINITELY having them (or something similar) again!!! Good good good good good (as long as it doesn't make any of us sick, and I think we'd know by now! :-))

June 09, 2007

How my week is shaping up.

Well, I didn't totally complete my PODA of the other day (was it just yesterday really?  wow...), but I did pretty good.  The house isn't in total shambles, but it's not perfectly put together.  T ended up doing the dishes for me, because they had gotten overwhelming---he does that sometimes, sees them there so long that he does them all.  He's got a way that includes shining the sink, in a condensed version (no wiping the sink down after cleaning it out), and he manages to get them ALL done fairly quickly.  I think he can handle the heat of the water better for one thing, and I think this time it was in part because he had actually dirtied a lot of them himself making a cheesecake (not a guilt thing at all...there have been too many times he's gone and made a mess of the kitchen and I'm the lucky one to go back and do it all---with no complaints), and in part because his friend from work who might just be a BO---or just a single guy---was coming over to try a piece of the cheesecake.  The guy is out on vacation/medical leave for a surgery on his carpal tunnel/whatever else it is (I forget right now). 

I think P might just be getting over whatever it is that he has.  This morning he woke up with his pillow damp, and even when he was off his meds (you know, when he had gotten to the hour where it was just wearing off), he wasn't as hot as he has been the last couple days.  I'm not sure about that thermometer sometimes...but I'm sure he's getting better.  He also had a piece more energy both on and off the meds.  :-) 

I had a start a couple times today realizing that TOMORROW MY LITTLE BOY'S 2!!!!!  He's still my baby--and he's still not nursing much because of his nose.  I'm hoping he will come back just like a champ when his congestion clears up---but then I guess I'll have to face it if he doesn't.  I know he still loves it though....and is mommy's little man no matter what :-)  I'm in the middle of making cupcakes for his birthday cake.  I have to do it now because I have a funeral to go to tomorrow.  He can't be coming with, in part just because it's a funeral---he'll be here most of the day tomorrow with daddy and big sis (which he won't mind at all :-)), while my dad and I will be down in Ackley (think the same road Bucky came down in the same church he passed in that squad car!) with the family.  I hope to come home soon, just because I'm so uncomfortable being that far away from my baby for that long.  I've not been away from him longer than maybe an hour or two.  This will be hard---dad's coming at 9:30 to pick me up, the funeral's at 11, and we have to stop off at WalMart so dad and I can figure out P's birthday present.  I bought some stuff last time we were up there in the Orchard Park/McKinley Mall area, now I just have to figure out D's present.  Maybe it will be an IOU for a gift card, or for all the shorts and shirts I'm going to make her this summer!!!!  This month is short....that's what the candle biz is for in the long run!!!!!

Oh, got my new biz cards and the cards I'm going to be sending out to realtors around here yesterday.  D found them as whoever dropped them off put them on the porch.  I don't think it was our favorite/usual postal carrier yesterday.  But I can't make up any with scent samples yet because the baggies that T ordered off ebay before were TOO SMALL.  That's okay, he ordered another set now that we know the right size, and they should get here quickly :-D  I've got a melted Bella Bun shredded already!!!  :-)  Then I will do this month's Candle of the Month (Blueberry Cobbler!!!!!). 

June 07, 2007

Thursday's PODA - updates 3

Things have just sorta petered out.....OH well, it's one of those days again.  I think we're nearing the end of our breastfeeding relationship as well.  I don't know what this guy's got, but it's making him REALLY congested, and his little nose is so stuffed that he'll latch on, suck a few times, and then pop off so he can breathe :-(  I suppose it had to happen eventually.  At least I know it's not because of anything I did or that he doesn't want to!  It's absolute heck watching him go through this :-(  I hope it ends soon!!!

A couple things today...

Well, I found out that the baggies we got the first time are much too small to manipulate and fill. Don't ever get 1/2 inch baggies for your samples. Go with the 1 inch---they are a lot bigger than you would think. And 1/2 inch goes the other way...ugh I'm miserable with that!!!

Next, I'm finally getting my butt in gear and finding out about tax info. I asked a couple ladies in the upline/whatever it's called, and one said she can get back to me with the info. Let's hope it's fairly simple *sigh*

Finally, I got the business cards and the cards I'm going to be sending to realtors. They came out great, but I don't know if the cards will fit in the envelopes yet.

Thursday's PODA - updates

Not too bad for almost 2 hours. 

Get breakfast for both of us (oatmeal w/bananas) - done (though P didn't have much...)
Get us both dressed - done
Pick up/declutter floor - done so I could vac
Collect any garbage that needs collecting
Wash dishes
Flip washer & dryer
Water plants (P loves this :-)) - next
Teach P to blow his nose - working on it.  Right now he just looks at me like I'm crazy
Convince P to take a nap - next hour

Thursday's PODA

Here's how behind and out of it I am....even though I know that yesterday was Wednesday because D had her last concert (which I had to miss, boo hoo :-(...) of 5th grade (and her first playing her clarinet), I couldn't remember what day today is, LOL!!! 

I've had the most success getting myself a PODA, so I'll try a small one.  I've been out of sorts because I just haven't been getting to bed as I should---and then when I actually try to get to bed at a decent hour (11:30), P's in the middle of a nice crying fit because the poor little guy is miserable because he's sick :-(  I'm not totally sure what he has---he's got a bit of a fever (the worst was the second night he had this, he had a temp of 102, and I said to myself he's going to the doc!!!), he's got some congestion, and he looks horrible when he's not all drugged up!  LOL (on the drugged up part, not on looking horrible).  Oh well, that's my job as mommy, to nurse him back to health!  Unfortunately, we are still breastfeeding and his nose is so stuffed he can't have any!  He pops on and off...I'm going to attempt to teach him to blow his nose, since he WON'T let me suction it out.  That didn't help the crying fit last night.  I'm also going to see if I can get some oatmeal in his belly...he hasn't been eating as well as he usually does (he's got a pretty good appetite), but man did he inhale the spaghetti last night.  His butt's not the most comfortable either.  :-\

Anyhow, a mini PODA, and let's see how much I can get done of it before big sis gets home....

Get breakfast for both of us (oatmeal w/bananas)
Get us both dressed
Pick up/declutter floor
Collect any garbage that needs collecting
Wash dishes
Flip washer & dryer
Water plants (P loves this :-))
Teach P to blow his nose
Convince P to take a nap

June 06, 2007

Long time no see.....

It's been over 2 months since I last wrote here. Things have been going, which is the least that could be said. Unfortunately, that same old midnight monster has struck again, and seems to be working hard to derail everything for me. My dishes aren't washed (though I was going really well for a while there, every night, and it won't take long to get them all taken care of :-D), but my floor is mostly picked up, my futon is clear, my living room is decent, my trash has been taken out, our clothes are caught up on, and everyone has been fed and bathed. I think all in all that makes it a really good day :-) I got a short walk when at WalMart to fill P's 'script (lil guy's sick, running a bit of a fever, and seems to have a bit of fluid in one ear), even though it wasn't what I wanted.

I am now at 37.8 pounds lost. That means that I have 2.2 more to go until I get to my previous weight loss, and this time nothing --- no emotional blow, no decrease in money (because I will always find a way to make sure that $39.95 is in the bank!), nothing will derail me from getting as far as I need to this time. Even a SMALL loss (and we have all had one of those!!!) is still a LOSS. :-) That's all I'm looking for! I've changed my life, changed my diet, and plan on being able to manage those and the periodic cravings I get for things that don't fit into them. No more eating whole bags of Doritos all the time --- unless they cost 99¢ --- No more multiple bowls of whatever dinner is every night. I might do that with a Core meal here and there, but not on a regular basis. Heck, tonight was the first time I've made one dinner for the majority of the house, and a different one for me. Because I REFUSE to eat pasta that is not whole wheat if I can help it!!! Heck, I can't tell you the last time I had full fat and/or milk cheese. I actually have grown to LIKE soy cheese!!! My favorite is STILL cheddar flavored!!! :-) Also, while I was getting the 'script, I wandered through the clothes. And I TRIED SOMETHING ON. In size 22/24. The one thing, a shirt dress, was a bit tight in the usual areas---but the usual areas didn't stress it out as bad as 38 pounds ago. The outfit (a nice shirt and pants) felt GREAT, and didn't look all that bad either. And who knows---maybe I'll find $11 to buy a pair of those pants. Nice and comfy!!! So, my next goal weight is my street address (which is kinda funny but kinda embarrassing, especially if you know my street address :-S), and my next body goal is to make 22/24 LOOSE!!!!

Something I have not discussed before now...I've started to search for the lay of my spiritual path again, this time much more involved and exact than I had before. I had all those pagan books, but I never really read them. Something about them did not feel right. I have returned to my roots, and some time ago convinced myself that I am actually a Christian. While it said somewhere in the Bible not to hide your light under a bushel---it's not something I'm publicizing either! :-\ But I have so many books I got off of PaperBack Swap, and I've started reading one of them. I will eventually read The Purpose Driven Life, as that's one of the books I got from PBS. Heck, it will probably be my NEXT book. I'm eager to read it.

So, what all brought this on? I'm not totally sure. Maybe some of it is knowing the blessings our former neighbors have received by leading a life in Christ, and having ZHOP. Part of it is finally being honest to myself that what I need spiritually is something I can be honest to everyone else about. Sure, I'm not supposed to worry about what others think---but, thing is, it's uncomfortable to have this "secret." Maybe it's just time for me. I also found a verse that I LOVE, and speaks to who I really feel I am. Proverbs 31: 10-31. It talks about a good wife, something I strive to be for my husband, though I do admit I often falter. But it led me to a great site, Proverbs 31 Ministries. This path, however, does not mean that I have left all my "alternative" views behind. By no means have I. But it means that I am looking for what's best for me, the best fit, the truth.

So, what have I done so far? Well, I made a donation to those same neighbors. It might sound a bit selfish, but considering the pressure I feel about finances, I prayed for some help/relief in that area. And I made a realization today.

I was thinking about my friend who died 7 1/2 years ago, and how we will see each other again once that day comes. And it hit me---that whole concept does not simply apply to those who have already passed on---sometimes it applies to those we have removed ourselves from in this life, who still live. And I was filled with some peace. The reason I had such a problem with WW the first time, after a while, was because of the emotional blow I received when my ex best friend and I quit being friends. Recently, she's tried to contact me again. I didn't have as much of a problem with it this time---but it still left me unsettled. It hit and hurt pretty bad the first time, it gets rehashed each time somehow she comes into my life again. Always on the computer.

And something else has happened. I don't care if she reads this (because I know it's possible). I just don't think she realized how bad I was hurt, and to what extent I was hurt. I don't know if she ever will. And it's not just because of the final conversation we had---there was a lot more involved than that. But, I forgive her. Forgiving her (you?) is not for HER (YOU), it's for ME, it's something I need in order to go on with my life and FULLY recover. I have come a long way, I think this is the last thing I need, and I will leave it behind me. Don't expect me to talk to her, I just won't throw a fit inside, if ykwim.

So, for my candle biz you can check that blog. For crochet updates, you can check that blog too. For writing, go right ahead and see over there. This is life. Real life. My life.

Til I write here again...

Later Days! :-)

June 05, 2007

Ground work...

Because without a foundation, you can't have a stable structure!!!

It's been over 2 months since I last posted about this. I'm happy to report that I have been doing SOMETHING, and I have many plans to do more. Sometimes, you know, a person can get to a point where they really don't feel like they've done much in the way of anything to get anywhere. So I will take this time to chronicle what will perhaps end up being my groundwork :-D

Well, the first thing I did was finally go COTM. I had planned on being able to do it at the beginning of this month, but we were lucky enough to have just enough extra from a loan for our car repairs (which only ended up being replacing tires---everything else we fixed was taken care of by the warranty---if only we could get that kind of "insurance" for our bodies instead of our car!!!) to start it midway through May :-)

To go COTM, I got myself a Penny Saver route---I live really close to an office, and I was able to get the route my house is on!!! This will pay for the Candle of the Month shipment each month, with some extra left over for maybe another shipment of things I will need here and there. As always, I have other things in the works that can help with that too ;-)

Next, one of the shipments I ordered right after first getting to COTM status included two of my FAVORITE candles---Bella Buns!!!---and 2 sets of catalogs. The first bundle is GONE, and I broke into the second today!!! Now I have to make up more scent samples and staple those onto more catalogs, and stick the labels with my name and numbers on the backs :-D

As for footwork...

I have handed out all those catalogs. Most of the candles from the first COTM shipment went as free samples---which is fine because even though I ended up having to burn the jar candle because I dropped and broke it (it has a nice wrapper so very little escaped, and it can still hold the candle---when hard. It oozes out a bit when lit, LOL!!!), I'm not the biggest fan of that smell. Oh well, I'm sure someone else is!!! :-D Any one of the people who I handed catalogs to could end up being my next customer---all it takes is them having a need and seeing my catalog still sitting on their desk or in their purse, or in their car :-) I've handed out several business cards...I printed up maybe 30 several weeks ago, and I'm down to about 3 now. I also had the 20 or so I had printed up before that, and those have been gone for weeks. I'm waiting on new business cards, ordered from VistaPrint :-) I also have postcards through there that will be coming in, with my OWN DESIGN, that I plan to send out to realtors in the area. These candles would make EXCELLENT housewarming gifts, open house items, or closing gifts. In that vein, I'm also planning to send some off to local car dealerships (we got cookies when we got our Grand Am, and I would have MUCH rather had a candle!!!!!), RV dealerships and local prefab home companies! Several catalogs also got handed out when I went yard saling this weekend!

I've sent about 5 fundraising packets off to different local organizations---schools so far, though I plan very soon to branch out to other organizations! I also met up with a girl at the Weight Watchers meeting today, and gave HER a catalog to pass on to her teacher at her dance class. I saw her jacket, and thought "well, why the heck not???" :-D I then ended up talking to 2 other ladies at the meeting who I had not yet talked to before about the biz, and gave both of them catalogs. I left the house today prepared to give them to people!!!!!