May 10, 2008


I would much rather be doing this over on Wordpress, but it doesn't seem to want to open up right now, so I guess I'll be talking about this here.

So, this afternoon, I was going through my email like I do a million times a day, and I noticed something interesting. I've mentioned my ex-best friend on here a few times, each time calling her just that, my ex-best friend because that's what she is. Well, I noticed an email from her on the one group we both happen to be in---we weren't in this one when we were friends, but we obviously came to it for much the same reason afterwards. I don't know if it existed before or not, but that's neither here nor there. But, the interesting thing about the email I noticed was her name now.

She got married. Now, you might think that, given the way we parted ways and the fact that I refer to her the way I do, I'd be nasty about this fact in one way or another---but while there were a couple interesting comments from myself and T when I talked to him about it...more than anything, I'm really really happy for her. I don't know if she reads this or not---if she does---well then, yes dear, I do check up on you once in a while, and I do notice your comings and goings at least on the one list, and I do still care some about you. I've noticed you've had some...goings on?...with your new hubby on different networking websites. And yes. I'm very happy that you have managed to find yourself someone to love. I never wanted anything less for you, even though yes I have tried my hardest to completely distance myself from you. It's not that I never had the inclination to email her either. I have sometimes, especially lately in examining myself and my newly refound Christianity. But as far as things like that, I think some things are better off left well enough alone. We've both grown quite a bit since we parted's sometimes said there are some people who are there with you for a time and a season, and some special people are there for a lifetime. I think with her, it was just for a time. A long time---13 years. I've had closer friends for much longer :-| Mhmmm...much closer :-S :-P Much longer.

The reason I think all this is possible? Because of forgiveness. Now, I'm not saying (in case she's reading) that the exact reason why we parted ways (if you don't know what it is, honey, I feel really sorry for you. It's obvious and even your mother knows.) is all I'm forgiving her for either. That's it's own issue, but I've dealt with our side of that. No, there are things that happened before the year or so before it, that cut me much deeper. I was feeling unsettled about it before we parted ways, but I was willing to at least put up with it for that time. I wrote a post where I talked about forgiving her. It took a while to find it, but I did. And I think this is the first place God really worked in my life. Because within just months, I felt NOTHING when I (think I) saw her. If it was her, then I'm sure she knows when I'm talking about. And I've now come around to the point where I'm happy to hear about such a wonderful event in her life---well, 2. Because she got married in April, and of course her birthday was yesterday, the 9th (You didn't think I really forgot, did you?). I'm happy to see her smile in one of the pictures I've seen of her, because I know how good it feels to feel that happy and be that in love, and I'm happy to see she's found that in someone. Because she was never as happy as she could be when she was with the guy who she was with when we parted ways. I'm glad someone's made an honest woman of her, she deserves it. We all deserve the love and happiness being truly in love can bring.


Sandy C. said...

What a heartfelt post. It takes a strong person to forgive and wish well onto othes they no longer see eye-to-eye with. Good for you.

LceeL said...

Happy Mother's Day, Allison.

The Intracerebral Itinerary said...

You know, I'm having a difficult time with forgiveness with a certain ex- friend of mine only because, the second I let my guard down, she tries to do something to hurt me again. It's been going on for years, and it's not just me- she's hurtful to everyone in a very manipulative way. She's hurt a lot of my friends.

Forgiveness usually works, but I guess there's no one answer for every issue.

Andrea Singer said...

I can relate to this post!! Thanks for sharing. I also appreciate the comment you left on my blog and hope your back pain improves soon!