September 06, 2007

At least I'm living....

Oh, I'm sure you can say it could be worse, but it's not fun either.

Mom's in the hospital again. Another planned excursion into her knee :-| This time just the left one, because it has been acting up bad for most of this year. 6-8 months, and no one was really trying to find out what it was while she was done in Ohio. But they went into her knee and, while none of the tests done on the aspirations said it was infected, it in fact was.

So things are now good, not so good, and difficult.

The good thing is that her knee has been taken care of.

The not so good---that she was right and it WAS an infection.

The difficult is she is not a fun person when she is on morphine. Because of her life, she's got natural tendencies towards paranoia and depression. She takes meds for that, that help a whole lot, smooth things out for her. With the morphine (or derivatives/similar meds), she loses all her hibitions keeping her from buying into the paranoia and depression---and it's not fun being in her room with her. What's the worst, is you KNOW that it's just the meds talking, this is NOT her, she's knows better and is a lot more rational than that!!! But it still rips your stomach out. I just couldn't go today, yesterday was that difficult.

There are a few other things that are weighing on my mind that I just don't want to go indepth, kids, hubby, money, what might be going on in my body (with hormones, etc).

I've been sitting here and in the living room wanting a peanut butter sandwich. I bought just white bread because I didn't want to be eating several peanut butter (plain and with jelly) sandwiches by the doubles like I have the last few weeks. The bread being wheat just doesn't help much. And I want to be able to say I've passed the 50 pound mark (yes, I know that I currently have to update my weight loss table. I'll do it, don't worry). I might go and have another bag of popcorn (I had one this evening). That and a glass of water actually does sound pretty good.

I can't wait for next week. I'll talk this much about money. Some of it will loosen up once next Thursday hits.

I guess that's the end of it.

Good night.